Updated: Sep 6
Sometimes life hits us with unpleasant surprises. All of a sudden we find ourselves overwhelmed, unable to cope, not knowing what to do next. This can happen to anyone, even committed Christian leaders.
I remember a friend of long ago. He was a financial leader in a high position and a church leader too But some circumstances became too much. His beloved mother got Alzheimers. He did not get a sought after position. An adult child was going through a divorce. He was trying to keep his mom home and be her 24/7 care-giver. This man was a multi-millionaire with an important career. His money and position of authority were no help for what life was throwing at him. He was stuck. Being stuck made him very depressed. He gave his testimony at a retreat I attended. He said when he was younger if someone said they were depressed, he thought they should just "get over it." He did not understand what it was like until it happened to him. If you don't understand consider yourself fortunate and this message not for you. But if you are stuck I hope this helps.
First you are not alone. I too have been stuck. I have shared that story on this website and on a podcast.
What does a stuck person look like?
They may appear to have it all together on the surface like my friend, but they are the walking wounded. Or they could be so stuck their friends are expressing concern.
Stuck causes and symptoms: too much clutter, financial stress, challenging relationships, too much drama, too many responsibilities, work stress, health concerns for others or a scary medical diagnosis, grief loss, aging issues.
Understanding Stuck: I learned some years back that my allergies are cumulative. I can tolerate one or two, but if I am in a situation where there are multiple allergins I will get sick quickly. Getting stuck can happen like that. A person can cope with a few stresses, but there is that one thing that is just too much.
Getting unstuck: The process of getting stuck may have been over time, so getting unstuck may take time as well.
Some things to do:
Pray and ask God for guidance and direction. Ask others to pray for you, as well.
When you pray be honest and admit you have a problem and you cannot solve it on your own. **
Get good support. That may mean telling an accountability partner or even seeking professional help. You may need Christian, medical or financial counseling. Sometimes you need a second opinion.
Lean on the Word:
When Moses' arms grew tired, Aaron and Hur brought a stone for him to sit on, while they stood beside him and held up his arms, holding them.
13 But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.
Proverbs 3:5–6, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. “In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
My friend got unstuck by admitting he had a problem and taking it to the Lord. He admitted he could not continue to care for his mom at home. He could not stop his child's divorce from happening, and he had to let go of the missed promotion disappointment. But God continued to use him. I so admired his willingness to be vulnerable enough to stand before a large congregation at that retreat and humbly share his walk with Jesus and getting through his personal struggles. My friend Jimmie went Home in 2021 at age 88. But he was at Peace many years before that because he knew the Prince of Peace. Do you?
**If you don't know Jesus, ask Him to save you. You don't need fancy words. When you cry from your heart "Jesus save me!" He will hear and answer that cry for help. Then you should get with other believers and read the Bible. Start in the book of John. If you have difficulty reading you can download a Gideons app and listen.
The last line of Jimmie's obit talks about his faith.